I will be strong...
I will be there for you always...
With every pitfall, I will pick myself up and be stronger than before...
All because I have you with me by my side...
Together we will strive towards common future... our legacy...
I love you.
Samuel
Friday 29 February 2008
Goodbye Nathaniel...
29th February 2008 Friday sometime after midnight...
Today is the day our son, Nathaniel Tan, at almost five months old, came into our world.
Today is the day our son, Nathaniel Tan, left us to wherever babies go to when they passed on.
Today is also the day that I felt the most deepest sense of lose I had ever experienced in my life so far.
I asked myself what had I done so badly in my life to deserve such pain.
I asked myself what can I have done to prevent this lose of a life that we tried so hard to bring into our lives.
I asked myself why are there so unfairness in life that so people don’t cherish what they have while others wanted to have something to cherish and not given the chance.
Dearest Nathaniel,
I am your Daddy, Samuel and Yvonne, your Mommy, whom carried you for almost five months. Since your conception I hoped you felt the love your mother and I gave. I may not have shown more than your Mommy but rest assured that I planned ahead more. To see you lying there so small and fragile broke our hearts… You would have inherited your Daddy’s height, nose and mouth and your Mommy’s strong chin and perhaps dimples… The long fingers would have made a great Vulcan sign… But knowing that you have passed on without pain and suffering and at the same time did not gave your Mommy much complications shows us you are a good son. With your passing, though with much sorrow, you will give future siblings a better chance.
We will always remember you,
Love
Daddy & Mommy.
P.S.
I am not a true believer in religion, perhaps more a believer in scientific facts. This is the first instance that Medical Science & technology has failed to give me assurance that everything that can be done were done. It seems that with the Child Birth advance techniques, science, monitoring and procedures available to us for the past 50 years, the percentage of conceiving, delivering and survival of infants has not improved that much.
This is the very first instance the Medical services failed me so utterly. I have lost faith in our local medical professional in the past years but not to the extend of today. I believe in the Medical principle precept “Primum non nocere”. Latin for “First do no harm.” But to the extend of hiding behind it, adopting a “wait and see attitude” due to understaffing, lack of time, funds, or even priority given to private class patients would be an excuse that greatly needs some re-thinking.
Today is the day our son, Nathaniel Tan, at almost five months old, came into our world.
Today is the day our son, Nathaniel Tan, left us to wherever babies go to when they passed on.
Today is also the day that I felt the most deepest sense of lose I had ever experienced in my life so far.
I asked myself what had I done so badly in my life to deserve such pain.
I asked myself what can I have done to prevent this lose of a life that we tried so hard to bring into our lives.
I asked myself why are there so unfairness in life that so people don’t cherish what they have while others wanted to have something to cherish and not given the chance.
Dearest Nathaniel,
I am your Daddy, Samuel and Yvonne, your Mommy, whom carried you for almost five months. Since your conception I hoped you felt the love your mother and I gave. I may not have shown more than your Mommy but rest assured that I planned ahead more. To see you lying there so small and fragile broke our hearts… You would have inherited your Daddy’s height, nose and mouth and your Mommy’s strong chin and perhaps dimples… The long fingers would have made a great Vulcan sign… But knowing that you have passed on without pain and suffering and at the same time did not gave your Mommy much complications shows us you are a good son. With your passing, though with much sorrow, you will give future siblings a better chance.
We will always remember you,
Love
Daddy & Mommy.
P.S.
I am not a true believer in religion, perhaps more a believer in scientific facts. This is the first instance that Medical Science & technology has failed to give me assurance that everything that can be done were done. It seems that with the Child Birth advance techniques, science, monitoring and procedures available to us for the past 50 years, the percentage of conceiving, delivering and survival of infants has not improved that much.
This is the very first instance the Medical services failed me so utterly. I have lost faith in our local medical professional in the past years but not to the extend of today. I believe in the Medical principle precept “Primum non nocere”. Latin for “First do no harm.” But to the extend of hiding behind it, adopting a “wait and see attitude” due to understaffing, lack of time, funds, or even priority given to private class patients would be an excuse that greatly needs some re-thinking.
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